A Divine Setup
Looking back over my life, I can see how Spirit was guiding me long before I had the language to describe what I was experiencing.
My mother was battling cancer when I was a little girl. By the time I was around eight years old, she had become too ill to care for me in the ways I needed.
One day, I felt an inner prompting to go to her bedside and tell her I was going to live with my grandmother because she could no longer take care of me.
And that's exactly what I did.
I walked into her room, told her what I had decided, and she agreed.
Then I picked up the phone and called my grandmother.
“Mom can't take care of me anymore. I'm coming to live with you.”
I packed up my Barbies, and my grandmother came to get me.
I was eight years old.
Not long after moving in, my grandmother stopped me one day as I was walking down the hallway. There was no conversation leading up to it. She simply said:
“When you have a question about anything, before you go to anyone, go to God.”
That simple instruction changed my life.
I was already a child who spent a great deal of time alone. I loved writing songs and keeping journals, so when my grandmother told me to go to God first, I did what came naturally.
I started writing to God.
I would ask questions on paper, writing as though I were having a conversation. And then in my late teens, something extraordinary began to happen. I started receiving answers.
Words and guidance would come to me, and I would write them down. What began as a little girl asking God questions became an ongoing dialogue with the Divine.
I didn't know anything about channeling. I hadn't studied metaphysics or ancient spiritual traditions. I had no framework for understanding what was happening.
I simply knew that when I got quiet, asked, and listened, guidance came and it was always a good outcome when I followed it.
Writing to God and receiving answers was my first spiritual practice.
Years later, when I began studying ancient wisdom teachings, I would discover that many of the things I was reading confirmed truths that had already been communicated to me through those conversations.
Today, I look back at my mother's illness, my decision to move in with my grandmother, and that seemingly spontaneous instruction in the hallway as part of a Divine setup.
But having that connection didn't mean my path would be easy.
Through Darkness and Into a New Direction
About four years later, I returned to live with my mother, and the years that followed were among the most difficult of my life.
I experienced deep emotional pain, depression, and a profound sense of being alone in the world. There were periods of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and reckless decisions that could easily have cost me my life.
I was fighting a battle within my own mind, and for a time, I didn't know whether I would win.
By fourteen, I was essentially navigating life without the boundaries, emotional support, or nurturing that children need. My mother provided for me materially, but I was largely responsible for guiding myself.
I was not raised. I raised myself.
By sixteen, I recognized that if I continued down the path I was on, I might not have much of a future. I made a conscious decision to change direction, turning my attention toward my writing, work, and the possibilities that existed beyond my circumstances.
The healing didn't happen overnight, but something in me had shifted.
Interestingly, even while struggling with my own life, I was often the person others came to for advice. I listened, encouraged, and helped people think through their problems.
One piece of advice my mother gave me stayed with me: “Find what you love to do, find a way to get paid doing it, and you'll never work a day in your life.”
I loved music, writing, performing, and creating experiences that brought people together. Shortly after high school, I founded an entertainment promotions and production company, and while attending Southern Illinois University Carbondale, I began producing events, performing spoken-word poetry, and discovering the power of using my voice to inspire others.
My peers affectionately called me “Mama Lena” because I had become a mother figure and source of guidance for so many of them.
There was something ironic about that. I had grown up without much of the nurturing I needed, yet I had become someone others looked to for those very things.
I didn't realize it then, but a pattern was already emerging.
Discovering the Power of Stillness
In 2000, shortly after leaving SIUC, I met a someone who introduced me to meditation and gave me a book of the Tree of Life Meditation System.
That introduction opened the door to an intense period of spiritual exploration.
I began teaching myself to meditate while studying metaphysics, holistic health, astrology, numerology, ancient spiritual traditions, and the nature of consciousness.
I was hungry for understanding. I wanted to know how the mind worked, why human beings suffered, and what was possible when we learned to move beyond the constant activity of thought.
My interest quickly became a serious daily discipline.
For years, I spent hours every single day immersed in meditation and spiritual study. Sometimes I would sit for upwards of six hours at a time, determined to quiet the mind and explore what existed beyond it.
Eventually, there were times when the mental chatter would completely cease.
I would enter what I came to understand as a state of no-mind.
My awareness of my physical body would begin to disappear. The familiar sense of being a separate individual would dissolve, and I would experience what felt like melting into nothingness.
And then, bliss.
An extraordinary peace and expansiveness beyond anything I had known through ordinary waking consciousness.
These experiences profoundly transformed my understanding of myself, Spirit, and the nature of reality.
I also began recognizing something fascinating. Many of the ancient teachings I was studying reflected truths I had received through my teenage conversations with God.
It was as though I was discovering language for something I had already known through direct experience.
I couldn't have imagined then how deeply these years of practice would shape the work I would eventually share with others.
Following Divine Guidance Into Radio
In 2002, I was living in Atlanta, Georgia, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life.
Despite my creative interests and entrepreneurial experiences, I felt lost.
So I returned to the practice that had guided me since childhood.
I wrote to God.
I asked what I should do with my life, and I received a clear answer: pursue a career in radio, where I could use my “colorful personality to positively influence the masses.”
Radio?
Although I'd grown up around recording studios, was comfortable with music and sound equipment, and had played around as a co-host on a friend’s college radio show, becoming a radio personality wasn't something I had ever considered.
So I dismissed the guidance.
A month or two later, a situation involving my mother brought me back to the St. Louis area. During another emotionally difficult period, I happened to hear a radio advertisement announcing an internship opportunity.
Immediately, I remembered what I'd been told in Atlanta.
The next day, I went to apply, despite not meeting all the stated qualifications, I was hired on the spot.
After approximately two months as an intern, I began my professional on-air career in December 2002.
From the beginning, I approached radio as an opportunity to positively influence the people listening.
My Saturday night program on Magic 104.9 FM was intentionally inspirational, from the music I selected to the original spoken-word poetry and reflections I shared. I brought that same spirit to my overnight program on our sister station.
During those overnight hours on 100.3 The Beat FM, young women would sometimes call and share what they were going through. Some were young mothers struggling to find their footing.
I listened, encouraged them, and offered whatever guidance I could.
Several of those conversations developed into ongoing mentoring relationships. I took young women under my wing, helping them navigate practical challenges such as finding jobs, securing housing, and moving into new homes.
The nurturing role that had earned me the nickname “Mama Lena” during college was finding another expression through radio.
As my career progressed, my inspirational content eventually reached listeners through eighteen radio shows and station blogs across the country.
Through my spoken-word poetry, Selena J's Words to Live By, and the relationships I developed with listeners, I was living out the guidance I'd received in Atlanta.
I didn't yet know that I would eventually become a professional spiritual guide and personal growth coach.
But the work had already begun.
And while I was building my broadcasting career, something extraordinary was unfolding in my spiritual life.
An Encounter With the Holy Spirit
In 2003, I entered a period that would profoundly deepen my relationship with The Most High.
Interestingly, the experience that led me into the Christian church began with a psychic.
At the time, I occasionally consulted a homeless psychic who invited me to visit a church where many of the members were also psychics.
I went, and something I experienced there stirred me spiritually. Afterward, I told my best friend that I was finally ready to visit her church. She had been inviting me for years.
Her church was in the first day of a revival when I arrived.
On my second day attending, during the alter call, one of the church mothers, a powerful elder in the congregation, honored my request to be baptized with the Holy Spirit.
What happened next is something I will never forget.
As she reached toward my stomach, before her hand even touched me, I felt an extraordinary force grip me.
My body suddenly buckled forward.
I began speaking in a language I had never learned.
And then I fell to the floor.
I was lying on my back with my arms outstretched, sobbing uncontrollably, tears and mucus flowing, while words in an unknown tongue continued pouring out of me.
I could not open my eyes.
I could feel a powerful spiritual presence pinning my arms and body to the ground. I was later told they call this being under the arrest of the Holy Spirit. While it didn’t happen frequently, it was a known occurrence in certain denominations.
I was aware that I was in the church, yet my experience of consciousness was no longer confined to the ordinary awareness of my physical body.
I experienced what felt like leaving this realm.
Time disappeared.
To me, the entire experience felt as though it lasted maybe five minutes.
But when I finally returned to my normal state of awareness, I discovered that I had been lying on that floor for approximately two hours.
The congregation had gone home.
Only the church mothers remained, by my side.
I was overwhelmed by what I had experienced and eager to see what was next.
That experience was why I joined the church.
I wasn't drawn there simply because of doctrine, tradition, or the desire to belong to a religious community. I stayed because of what I had experienced directly.
And that encounter was only the beginning.
From approximately 2003 to 2009, I became deeply immersed in the spiritual life of the church.
I joined an intercessory prayer group that gathered every morning. I would wake around 3 a.m. to prepare, and we would meet at the church for prayer from approximately 4 to 6 a.m.
Those mornings were filled with powerful spiritual encounters, visions, messages, and profound inner healing.
And my communion with The Most High didn't end when we left the church.
During that period, I had my own hours long prayer practice at home and I lived in what I can only describe as a state of continuous inner guidance. I heard The Most High speaking to me throughout my days, guiding my movements, decisions, and interactions.
It was an intimate, ongoing communion with the Divine.
I continued my meditation and spiritual studies throughout those years as well, exploring the nature of consciousness through different forms of practice and direct experience.
During those same years, I was building my career in radio, using my voice and platform to inspire, encourage, and positively influence my listeners.
Behind the scenes, I was spending countless hours immersed in spiritual practice and experiencing an extraordinary depth of communion with The Most High.
Those experiences shaped my understanding of life, human suffering, spiritual growth, and the power of Divine guidance.
And they deepened my desire to help others discover greater clarity, healing, and connection with Spirit.
When Spirit Said, “It Is Time”
By 2013, I had spent more than a decade building my career in broadcasting.
Radio had given me opportunities to express my creativity, reach people, share inspirational messages, and develop meaningful relationships with listeners.
But early one morning, while I was at the radio station, I had another mystical encounter that placed me on the floor speaking in tongues and heard the Holy Spirit speak to me.
“It is time. Put in your 3 week notice.”
The message was clear.
And it came again.
I understood that I was being instructed to leave.
There was no elaborate explanation of what would happen next. No detailed plan.
Only the instruction.
So I followed it.
I submitted my notice and walked away from the career I had spent 11 years building.
To someone looking at my life from the outside, it might have seemed like an unusual decision. But for me, it was another moment of recognizing the voice that had guided me since childhood.
The same guidance that had led me to my grandmother's home.
The same guidance that had directed me toward radio when I had no intention of pursuing it.
Now it was directing me into another chapter.
When Spirit Revealed What Was Next
Before I ever began teaching meditation professionally, I had an experience that would reveal another dimension of my spiritual gifts.
Shortly after leaving radio, I belonged to a spiritual development group that gathered monthly. We took turns hosting our gatherings, and it was my turn to host.
One morning, as I was preparing for the upcoming gathering, I woke up to Archangel Michael speaking to me.
He instructed me to go downstairs and put my hands in the soil of one of my plants.
I followed the instruction.
Then he said:
“This is what you will be doing next.”
I had absolutely no idea what he meant.
When the day of our gathering arrived, my plan was simple. I intended for us all to meditate together.
But once we began, something unexpected happened.
Instead of simply sitting in meditation with everyone, I found myself spontaneously guiding the experience. The words came through me in the moment, without any preparation.
And then something else began to unfold.
I felt guided to place my hands on the participants, one by one. As I did, intuitive messages began coming through for them.
I shared what I was receiving, and the messages resonated deeply with the people in the room. Some were moved to tears.
What I had intended to be a simple group meditation had spontaneously become an experience of guided meditation, hands-on energy healing, and intuitive guidance.
Suddenly, the mysterious instruction I'd received from Archangel Michael began to make sense.
“This is what you will be doing next.”
I hadn't planned to guide a meditation, deliver intuitive messages, or lay hands on anyone. Yet all of it had unfolded naturally as I followed the guidance I was receiving.
I didn't know it then, but this experience was a glimpse of what would soon become an important part of my life's work.
When Spirit Said, “Teach Meditation”
After leaving radio in 2013, I began organizing workshops and programs focused on holistic health, personal growth, and life success.
While preparing my third workshop, I began encountering obstacles. So I did what I had learned to do since childhood.
I asked Spirit what I should do.
The response was clear:
“Begin teaching meditation in your home. Create a class for this Friday and one for Saturday.”
I scoffed.
Here I was again, being instructed to do something that felt completely out of my league. And apparently, one class wasn't enough. I was supposed to create two!
Despite having practiced meditation for more than a decade, the thought of actually teaching it was another matter entirely.
So I decided to follow part of the guidance.
I sent out an email announcing a meditation class for Friday.
I conveniently ignored the part about Saturday.
Within one hour, the Friday class was completely full.
And then I heard Spirit say:
“Told you.”
I had to laugh.
So I created the Saturday class.
That's how my journey as a professional meditation teacher began.
But as it turned out, Spirit had something much more in mind than teaching people how to meditate.
When Meditation Became Healing
The same thing that had happened during my spiritual development group's gathering began happening during my official meditation classes.
What started as meditation instruction would spontaneously become guided meditation, followed by hands-on energy healing and intuitive messages for participants.
And as the experiences deepened, the gatherings began taking on a life of their own.
Sometimes they lasted as long as eight hours.
They were hardly classes anymore.
Looking back, I believe they were a Divine setup for everyone involved, including me.
People would spend hours lying on my living room floor, experiencing what I understood to be powerful movements of healing energy. I would find myself guided to lay hands, speak in tongues, and deliver intuitive messages, often without knowing beforehand what was going to happen.
One experience in particular has stayed with me.
A woman attended with her boyfriend, and as I tuned into her energy, I could see what appeared to be a tightly woven web wrapped around the lower half of her body.
I felt instructed to lay hands on her.
As I did, I began speaking in tongues, commanding whatever had her bound to loosen its hold and leave.
She sobbed and writhed as the experience continued. After nearly an hour, her upper body suddenly lifted, her head tilted backward, and she released an incredibly piercing scream.
In that moment, I understood what I was witnessing as a profound spiritual release.
I had never intended to create healing gatherings of this nature. I had simply followed an instruction to teach meditation in my home.
Yet those gatherings had become experiences that went far beyond anything I had planned or imagined.
And through them, I was discovering new dimensions of the spiritual gifts that had been expressing themselves throughout my life.
The Birth of The Meditation Lounge
As the gatherings continued to grow, I eventually moved the classes from my home into a friend's photography studio.
In 2014, I founded The Meditation Lounge, opening my first leased location in Grand Center in St. Louis.
Later, I relocated The Meditation Lounge to a leased space inside The Healing Arts Center, where I had previously received training.
My vision was to create a welcoming environment where people could step away from the demands of everyday life, become still, and reconnect with themselves and Spirit.
What had begun in childhood as conversations with God, and deepened through years of meditation, prayer, spiritual study, and extraordinary mystical experiences, was now finding expression through my work with others.
In February 2020, I closed the physical location of The Meditation Lounge.
But the meaning behind the name had never depended on a building.
From the beginning, The Meditation Lounge represented an inner sanctuary, a place of stillness, peace, and communion that exists within each of us.
A place we can return to regardless of where we are or what is happening around us.
That understanding remains at the heart of my work today.
The Journey Continues
When I look back over my life, I see a journey that has unfolded through extraordinary contrasts.
There were experiences I welcomed and others I would never have chosen.
There were seasons of profound spiritual bliss and seasons when simply choosing to continue living was an act of courage.
Yet through it all, I can see how every chapter contributed to the person I was becoming.
My understanding of compassion was shaped by suffering.
My capacity to encourage others was shaped by the times I had to encourage myself.
My trust in Spirit was strengthened through years of listening, questioning, experiencing, and following guidance, sometimes without knowing where it would lead.
And my desire to help people has been present through nearly every expression of my life, long before I ever considered making it my profession.
I don't believe my journey has been about arriving at a place where I have everything figured out.
Life continues to teach me.
Spirit continues to guide me.
And I continue to grow.
What I know from my own experience is that there is a depth of wisdom, love, and intelligence available to us that extends far beyond the limitations of our everyday thinking.
I have spent much of my life learning to listen to it, trust it, and live in relationship with it.
Today, that relationship remains the foundation of my life and my work.
And if there is one thread that connects every chapter of my story, it is the instruction my grandmother gave me when I was eight years old:
“When you have a question about anything, before you go to anyone, go to God.”
All these years later, I'm still listening.
